How much is too much when paying for a wedding? I've always been a thrifty spender, and therefore, a budget bride, where practicality beats beauty any day. However, a few items have been concerning to me lately. A wedding should only happen once during a lifetime, so why not spend oodles of money which one can look back on it with fond memories? But then there's the question of where to stop spending money. I admit that I've been so caught up with the planning of my upcoming wedding that I have slacked on my home-duties as a mom, not focusing much on what makes my life easier in the home.
First, of course are the many options available when planning a wedding. One has to decide the color of the linens, dresses for the brides' maids, flower girls right down to the style of invitations. The list is endless, not to mention nerve racking. When debating such essentials in my mind I ask myself, "How important are these so-called material items anyway?" Worthy of mentioning is the fact that I have been married once before. At the time, the wedding was low key, with family and friends on the top of a mountain with a Justice of the Peace. I thought it would be cool to have attendees ride a chairlift to the top of the mountain, so that's what we did. We randomly chose a spot in the middle of a trail that looked nice to be wed. Someone started the CD player and the flower girl began tossing her petals. At the time, I remember thinking, "My gosh, this is so stupid.” I don't know what I was more upset with; the flower girl for walking and throwing her petals at such a fast pace, the lousy CD player which didn't produce enough sound, or the tacky decision we made not to pre-plan the location of the ceremony.
In the aftermath, I shouldn't be too hard on myself. The marriage failed leading to a divorce. In all honesty, I'm (now) glad I didn't put too much thought, or expense, into the wedding.
Now, I'm happily engaged to the man of my dreams and we're starting to plan our wedding, or rather I am. "A honeymoon is the perfect excuse for a vacation" I used to say, having never taken one. Although, after having two kids, a dog, a cat, a house and the perfect man in my life, a honeymoon is the perfect excuse needed to take a vacation. While honeymoons can be rather costly, why not go all out on the wedding too?"
So, I start planning, and thinking, for a whole month. I'm still in the preliminary stages; which colors do I want to use, what cake do I want, which dresses for the bridesmaids do I use, etc. For a whole month; I'm not even done planning, or thinking. And I have a head injury! Planning this wedding has made me ask myself, countless times "What kind of person am I really?"
Am I really an extravagant, over the top, overzealous kind of gal who needs all the bells and whistles or a plain-Jane, get it done, down to earth gal favoring simplicity and rationality over costly superfluous? While it may be nice to experience the luxury, and wonders of excess material objects, I bet my family and I would appreciate a sane mom who can remain level-headed during this planning process. Obviously, I am failing at creating this picture of the ideal Mom, and that's what I am right, a Mom! I am losing focus of myself and family.
Unless I am able to keep my sanity, I am tempted to bag the whole wedding fiasco, go to the Town Clerk or Courthouse, sign a document and withhold the wedding celebration altogether. At least I know that I would be putting myself first and saving my family from witnessing unnecessary-insanity. Usually, first-time marriages are expensive and over the top, however, I've never experienced the like. If one can afford the wedding fiasco, along with the sanity, then fine. If not, how about a celebration at home? But one never hears of those!
The yellowish glow I see beyond the mountains tells me of the great day awaiting. I bend the final left-hand curve in the road and am eager to make the last ascending run up the driveway. With our dog, Lucy, by my side, as she always is during my early morning jogs, I guide her [...]
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